April 03, 2002
STUPIDEST. MILITARY TACTIC. EVER (The
STUPIDEST. MILITARY TACTIC. EVER
(The scene: Monty Python's Life of Brian. Brian is hanging on a cross, crucified. Suddenly, an unlikely rescue force appears over the hill...)
OTTO: Forward all!
WORKERS: Look out! The Judean People's Front! The Judean People's Front!...
OTTO: Ve are the Judean People's Front. Crack suicide squad. Suicide squad! Attack!
[drum roll]
J.P.F.: Uh! Ugh. Aggh... (suicide squad kills themselves)
OTTO: That showed 'em, huh? Oooh. [whump] (dies)
BRIAN: You silly sods.
---
(The scene: This week in Ramallah. Yassir Arafat is beseiged by the Israelis. Suddenly, an unlikely rescue force appears around the corner.)
While holed up in Ramallah, Palestinian strategists had devised a plan for deploying a unit of suicides for the first time in battle against Israeli troops. The unit’s mission was to fight the Israeli siege force and inflict heavy casualties, after which the survivors were to head for Arafat’s compound, break the Israeli encirclement and release their leader and his men...
A plan almost Baldrickian in its genius. First we blow ourselves up, then we rescue the Chairman...
That night, a contingent of 40-50 suicide combatants – some armed with explosive belts - went into action...
What were the rest of the "suicide combatants" armed with? Overdoses of Haldol?
As they advanced on the government compound, they were quickly surrounded by elite IDF troops, who fought their first hand- to-hand battle with a large contingent of suicides trained in military combat...
It was probably also the first such battle for the suicides, it goes without saying.
The battle lasted six hours. Palestinians with explosive belts strapped to their bodies attempted from time to time to approach Israeli soldiers and blow themselves up together – and were thrown back...
From time to time?
The battle ended with the Palestinian unit destroyed or captured. Six were killed and four seriously injured. There were no Israeli casualties.
You silly sods...
(Source: the rarely-to-be-taken seriously Debka. Wouldn't it be great if the PLO really was this stupid?)
MAINSTREAM JOURNALISM REDEEMS ITSELF: DEBRIEFING
MAINSTREAM JOURNALISM REDEEMS ITSELF: DEBRIEFING THE VICTORS OF AFGHANISTAN
Great piece today in the Washpost on how the Green Berets worked in Afghanistan.
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